Peacemaking

People brushed past me and my friend Sanjay as we made our way down a famous old street in our city, swallowed up in the waves of pedestrians, rickshaws, and cars. We carried on a casual conversation, speaking over the calls of vendors competing to attract customers. A huge mosque lit up the sky, worshipers pouring through its door as they left the nightly prayer time.

Sanjay and I turned into an alley and followed it until we arrived at my favorite kabab restaurant. We entered, the warmth of the crowded room a welcome relief from the chilly night air.

We found a free table and sat down, savoring our kababs. Sanjay turned the conversation to more serious matters.

“My parents have arranged a marriage for me,” he confided. “But things are not going well. My parents and my fiancée’s parents can’t get along. Everything could fall through. It’s been very stressful.”

I nodded, encouraging him to go on.

“I’m disappointed in the way they’ve handled my marriage arrangements. Things were done much better with my brother’s.” Tears welled in his eyes. “In all the chaos, my relationship with my parents has become very tense. I don’t know what to do next.” His shoulders sagged. “Everything seems to be falling apart.”

“I would like to trust God.” Sanjay propped his chin in his hand. “I just don’t know what that looks like.”

I sighed, feeling for my friend. “I don’t know what to say except to point you to what God says,” I ventured. Sanjay had become a follower of Jesus in recent months and was eager to rely on the words of the Bible.

“What does He say?” Sanjay asked.

I pulled out my phone and tapped on my Bible app. Together, we read scriptures about trusting God.

“I would like to trust God.” Sanjay propped his chin in his hand. “I just don’t know what that looks like.”

I thought for a moment. “Do you remember when you were teaching me to speak your language?”

He nodded. “It’s been a few years.”

“Do you remember the time you were trying to help me and we ended up in an argument?”

He grimaced, reflecting the sour memories I also held of the incident. “We hurt each other very much that day.” He managed a soft smile. “But then you apologized. You told me you thought of me as a brother and didn’t want our friendship to end. We made up.”

“Exactly.” I waited for this example to sink in. “What do you think God might want you to do in the situation with your parents?”

For the next half hour, we role-played the scenario, laughing and crying in the process.

Sanjay stared at the cold leftovers on his plate. “Seek peace with my parents.” He shook his head. “But how?”

I smiled. “Would it help to practice? How about I pretend to be your parents, and you address me the way you would speak to them.”

He stared at me. “Are you serious?”

I shrugged. “Why not?”

“Well, OK.” He offered a nervous smile and made an attempt that ended in laughter.

For the next half hour, we role-played the scenario, laughing and crying in the process.

Finally, Sanjay shook his head. “Families around here don’t do this.”

“American families don’t, either.” I smiled sadly. “But people who love Jesus should seek to love others. When we do that in tough situations, we show that we trust God enough to do what He says.”

Sanjay visited his parents a few days later and asked them to forgive him for the hurt he had caused them during their disagreements.

Sanjay took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right. It’s going to be hard, but I will try to make peace.”

Although he was nervous about the outcome, Sanjay visited his parents a few days later and asked them to forgive him for the hurt he had caused them during their disagreements. His parents, although surprised at his approach, received his apology and worked with him to achieve peace in their relationship.

Things still aren’t perfect between Sanjay and his parents, but they are getting better every day. And things are improving between his parents and future in-laws, as well. Sanjay’s parents have booked a wedding hall—a sign that they are willing to do what it takes to make Sanjay’s marriage happen.

As he takes steps of faith in his relationships with others, Sanjay is learning to trust God in the unknown.

Pray:

• Ask God to continue to heal tensions in Sanjay’s family.
• Praise God for Sanjay’s willingness to trust Him in difficult circumstances.
• Pray that Sanjay would have many opportunities to talk about Jesus with his friends, family, and new wife.